Friday, February 20, 2009

An "Open Letter" to all IT Departments

The following is a sample letter many end users have wanted to send into their IT department, but have not had the courage too. All names and location info has been changed to protect the lives of the not so innocent. This work was used with permission from it's creator.

Mr. IT Director, Mr. Student IT Network Tech, and Mr. Aspiring Programmer IT Network Tech

First, I would like to express my sincere appreciation for all you and your web lackeys do for our institution. Your dedication and expertise is renowned throughout the Rust Belt. News of your greatness has even approached the fingerlike region of NY.

I have a complaint however that I must bring to your attention. I was just informed yesterday that my password was going to expire. Simply put, why do I need 14 days warning that my password is going to expire. Seriously, brain surgeons put less thought into a frontal lobotomy then I do with my password. There are few things in life that need a 14 day warning. Historically, D-Day was planned in 13 days, Rome was built in 5 days, and even God created the world in 6 days. 14 days may be a bit of an extreme warning period. When the USA went into Iraq in Operation Desert Storm we gave the Iraq people a 7 day warning and that was before we took over their country.

I would implore you Mr. IT Director to reconsider your complexity requirements as well. I am asked to not use the same password that I have used within the past 600 passwords. That places me well into the year 2025 before I could even consider using my password of choice “ilovebunnies17”. Of course, with your established complexity requirements “ilovebunnies17” would not qualify because it does not have 1 capital letter, 4 tilde key strokes, 2 ancient hieroglyphics, one sample of blood from my first born child, and a hair sample from a Mr. Clean. The hair sample is, to say the least, impossible. I must say that I am flattered you are so concerned about my Free Cell high score and illegal music downloads to force this unneeded protection upon me. What’s the big deal? If someone “breaks” into my computer and beats my high score I feel that I could re-obtain it with ease…seeing I have nothing to do during the work day.

Please accept my advice and improve the system. The people can only handle this oppression for so long. On the day that I choose to change my password I have zero productivity due to the hours of thought and preparation it requires. Is there anything we could do in order to “dumb down” the system for those who struggle with hieroglyphics?

Thank you for your continued support,

Diffie Hellman SOCKS

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Whoever wrote this is a pure genious.